Case study: Eli, Dad with ADHD
Eli, a parent with undiagnosed ADHD, came to me to improve his relationship with his wife and his 1 year old son.
His goals were to enjoy being a parent – instead of avoiding responsibility and due to his lack of patience – and to stop his angry outbursts which were triggered each time his wife asked him to play with their son or help with housework. Eli was unfulfilled and unhappy, because he felt that he was a victim of his impulsivity and hyperactivity. He blamed himself and felt helpless to change patterns of communication which had not changed since he was a teenager.
In the first stage of the coaching process, Eli was asked to fill out an ADHD symptoms questionnaire, which helped him understand how a deficit in executive functions – the ability to inhibit responses in order to complete tasks – impaired his relationships with family members.
The second stage involved meetings with his wife, who also needed support and guidance.
Together, they made a plan to share chores and structure family routines.
The second stage involved meetings with his wife, who also needed support and guidance.
Together, they made a plan to share chores and structure family routines.
As Eli became more confident about his parenting, he began to enjoy being a dad, and instead of waiting to be asked to “help out”, became proactive and turned his thoughts toward his family’s needs, rather than his own needs. He internalized coaching skills such as “active listening”, accountability and self management.
The three stages of the parent coaching – education about ADHD and its effect on relationships and task performance, involvement of family members in the coaching process and strategy acquisition to change behavior patterns – offer a practical and effective solution for common problems associated with living with ADHD.